What you’ll need to play
Roy Keane’s Determination
Sir Alex Ferguson’s Commitment and Desire
Ryan Giggs’ Loyalty
Cristiano Ronaldo’s Speed
Paul Scholes’ Guile
David Beckham’s Wages
Chelsea’s Luck
Once you have signed up for your One United membership you can register for the Manchester United Ticket Exchange. At the start of the season you will find pages of tickets for your standard games, such as Bolton, Wigan and Fulham etc, but when it gets to ‘squeaky bum time’ or a big rivalry, expect to be playing the F5 game.
F5, if you don’t already know, is refresh button on your keyboard, and is never more useful than when trying to get hold of a ticket on the Ticket Exchange. Of course, when it’s a big game nearly everybody wants to be there, so the number of tickets on the website dries up. However! Some people do still list a ticket, and it’ll take all of your commitment and skill to make sure you get it first.
Firstly, make sure you’re signed in! If that ‘buy’ link goes red and you have to mess about with passwords, you won’t stand a chance. Similarly, make sure in your settings your favoured delivery address and payment method are set as default, because you won’t have time to change them in the heat of the battle.
Say you a sat looking at the Viagogo screen, and the game in Manchester United vs. Real Madrid Uefa Champions League Semi Final leg 2. The buy link is grey, with the ‘sell’ link sat next to it gleaming red just to tease you. Once all your details are sorted, you’ll have to start pressing F5 in the hope the buy link goes red (but not too often, or you’ll see the dreaded time-out screen). That red buy link sends my heart racing just thinking about it! You could be sitting there for hours, for days even and see nothing, as is the case for a big match. Suddenly, you will see the link go red, and this is where you spring up in your chair and click continue furiously, hoping that your internet connection will see you through.
You click the only ticket available and where it is (who cares, as long as you’re there).You click through the delivery address, fine, you click through how much it costs, fine (at the time). You get to confirm, your heart is racing, the rotating circles come up while it checks with your bank if you have the funds.
SORRY!
“This listing has been modified by another user”
Or in other words, some other bugger’s got it first. You’ll rarely have felt so gutted in your life, even more so for that especially elusive ticket. Barcelona at home last season was particularly tricky, for instance, and this season will really put your skills to the test with both City and Arsenal visiting Old Trafford in May. But there’s nothing you can do but sit back in your chair and calm yourself down and try it all again.
Stick with it, even for the most important of games if you are committed enough you will see several, and you will get one, although your life may be taken over for several days.
Eventually one will come up again. And you’ll have to be even quicker than before (a tip: click on the fixture link itself. It will come up saying that there are no tickets available. Keeping F5ing this page and you can skip past the original clicking of the red buy link, thus saving vital seconds).
This time, you get to the last stage, you click confirm, the rotating circles rotate for what seems like an age. Your heart will be pounding more than ever. ‘Surely this time, nobody can be quicker than that!’. You’re in! The euphoria is only repressed by the initial feeling of confusion. A screen closely resembling the earlier confirmation one will come up, saying ‘what now?’ (or something, to be honest I’ve been too busy jumping around to notice). But this means you have got your ticket, finally! You can now jump up and down screaming and shouting knowing that you have got your ticket for one of the biggest games of the season.
Check your E-mails for the confirmation, where you will see how you’ve just spent £70, but you still won’t care, and you’ll be ringing your mates to tell them you’ve got yours. You’ll probably find out you’ve just got the one they narrowly missed out on. Ah well, they’ll get theirs. You can finally relax now, safe in the knowledge that you’ll be there, wherever your seat is.
And as an added bonus you’ll have lost about a stone in weight too!
